Complaint #027: Ice

Look, I enjoy a nice cold drink as much as the next guy, but only to a certain cost. That cost is something less than putting ice cubes in my drink. It just isn't worth all the toil and unpleasantness. However, there are some solutions that lessen the pain.

Problem number one: this isn't a huge issue, but when you place ice into a drink, you violate the integrity of the drink by watering it down. I wanted to drink lemonade, not 95% lemonade with water in it. This is probably the reason people don't put ice in their milk or orange juice. Wake up people, it's no different from throwing ice into Coke or the poorly named "iced tea" (which, obviously, I prefer without ice).

Problem number two: creating ice. Again, not a big deal, but a minor annoyance if you don't own one of those fancy dancy refrigerators that makes its own ice. Having to fill up ice cube trays every twelfth cube, balance the tray perfectly back to the fridge from the sink, and set it on a perfectly level surface in your freezer is a bit toilsome.

The big problem: ice floats. This causes enormous issues: the first of which is that the cubes bang against your lip and front teeth every time you try to take a sip of that delicious beverage. This is painful to those of us with sensitive teeth (I think, I don't really know, it's been so long since I've actually had a drink like this). Not only that, but the cubes get in the way of you gulping down that liquid delight and you end up sucking in about four milliliters after trying to drink for the past 85 seconds.

Simple solutions: I don't mind getting ice in my drink while I'm at a restaurant because they give you the magical ice-problem destroyer: the straw. It won't solve problem one, and problem two is on the restaurant management, but it definitely eradicates the big ice problem.

Also, I love iced coffee. This is probably because I have managed to burn myself on every hot cup of coffee from which I've ever had the displeasure of drinking. Also, most iced coffee comes with that fantastic invention mentioned above.

Final point: we need a good way to invent cold, non-floating ice capsules that do not water down drinks. C'mon scientists, you owe us this one.