This is meant to be more of an informative post, rather than a complaint (although I will complain because it is warranted). For those of you who fall victim to its grasp, consider this a friendly, informative post (or reminder) because I myself, yes I, was once in the same place as you and freeing myself has made my life exponentially better (OK, that was a bit overdramatic).
I, of course, am talking about the phrase "I could care less". Without exception, whenever someone says this phrase they actually mean "I couldn't care less" (you know, the exact opposite). I don't know who started the trend of dropping the "n't", but the phrase makes very little sense without it. If you haven't figured out why by this point, let me explain: when someone says they "could care less", they mean "I don't care at all". However, if they can care less, they have some amount of care (because there is some amount that can be subtracted from there care (could care less)). When people say the opposite of what they mean (and aren't being sarcastic), words start to have no meaning. This is why pancake unequivocal box fetter yesterday leader.
Alright, now it's time to complain: over the last week or two, I've heard this phrase several (hundred) times. The solution is not always as easy as informing the speaker of their mistake. Remember those podcasts I told you about two weeks ago when I complained about Tim Tebow (the headline)? You remember that I listen to three sports podcasts a day? The people on these podcasts are theoretically professional radio personalities. They most likely have a degree in Communications. These are the people that should have a better grasp on the English language than me. However, they seem to have some sort of infatuation with the phrase. I find this egregious.
So, yes, I could care less if you read this post and comment...because I do care (even if it's just a bit).
07 January 2012
01 January 2012
Complaint #018: Celebrating a New Year
The time surrounding the start of a new year is one filled with hope and enthusiasm for great things to come in the oncoming year. Hope and enthusiasm are great things. Celebrating a new year, however, is fairly irrational. I'm all for the looking ahead to a brighter future, but what does January 1st have to do with this?
Let us first look at the date itself. January 1st, so far as I know and having done absolutely no research, has no significance whatsoever. Sure, it begins a new month, and this particular month has been deemed the first of our Gregorian calendar. Save for that latter fact, I find January 1st no different from March 1st or July 1st or December 1st (and any of the other months I left out). So the only thing that makes this day special from eleven others is that some guys, thousands of years ago, said January was the first moth of the year. Also, the thing that sets these twelve apart from the other 353 days that appear in every other year seems to be the same: some dudes a long time ago wanted to divide up a solar year to twelve approximately equal parts (for easier tracking of days, I assume). I don't know about you, but I try not to listen to anyone older than fifty years old, so why should I listen to something people said thousands of years ago? I kid, of course, but it all seems incredibly random.
Now, I'm not one to complain and not offer solutions/alternatives (except for all those times I do). In this case, I will: if we are going to base our system of dates on how our planet travels around our sun, why not start the year on a day with significance in respect to that? What I am, of course, referring to are the equinoxes and solstices. Why does our year start twelve days after the winter solstice? Why can't the winter solstice be the first day of the year? It seems logical. Also, the length of sunlight each day would increase until the middle of the year and then would decrease as the year comes to an end (Unless you live in that magical upside-down world known as the "Southern Hemisphere"). (Somewhat related tangent: We should also throw the leap day at the end of the year (or the beginning) because there is no reason to randomly insert it into the middle of the year.)
The one good thing that New Year's Day has going for it is the way people respond to it. People feel a sense of hope for a brighter future in the coming year. They see it as a chance to better themselves. I love that people look forward to a better future and I love that people want to better themselves (and sometimes they actually do it), but why do we need an excuse to do this? Why do we need a special day to tell us to do this? We should have this attitude daily. There is a brighter future ahead; you should better yourself every day (I should, too). If we absolutely need a day in the year to remind us of this, we already have the perfect day: Easter. Easter is the celebration of new beginnings and a new creation (also, bunnies and hidden, brightly-colored eggs). This is the perfect representation of the things we try to attribute to that random day that starts our calendar year.
If you've also read my entry on birthdays, you may be sensing a bit of a theme. I don't like celebrations. This is true........for random, fairly meaningless events. And do you know why? We should be celebrating every day of our lives. Every day we get an opportunity at a brand new day to make our lives better than they were yesterday. When we accomplish this, we should find joy and happiness in that, not when we turn a page on a calendar.
Additional side note: New Year's celebrations also suck for single people who are fairly happy with their lives, but are taught to be miserable because they didn't kiss someone after some lighted sphere descended on a pole in New York City (I will not use the phrase "ball drop" so as to squelch any immature testicle jokes).
Let us first look at the date itself. January 1st, so far as I know and having done absolutely no research, has no significance whatsoever. Sure, it begins a new month, and this particular month has been deemed the first of our Gregorian calendar. Save for that latter fact, I find January 1st no different from March 1st or July 1st or December 1st (and any of the other months I left out). So the only thing that makes this day special from eleven others is that some guys, thousands of years ago, said January was the first moth of the year. Also, the thing that sets these twelve apart from the other 353 days that appear in every other year seems to be the same: some dudes a long time ago wanted to divide up a solar year to twelve approximately equal parts (for easier tracking of days, I assume). I don't know about you, but I try not to listen to anyone older than fifty years old, so why should I listen to something people said thousands of years ago? I kid, of course, but it all seems incredibly random.
Now, I'm not one to complain and not offer solutions/alternatives (except for all those times I do). In this case, I will: if we are going to base our system of dates on how our planet travels around our sun, why not start the year on a day with significance in respect to that? What I am, of course, referring to are the equinoxes and solstices. Why does our year start twelve days after the winter solstice? Why can't the winter solstice be the first day of the year? It seems logical. Also, the length of sunlight each day would increase until the middle of the year and then would decrease as the year comes to an end (Unless you live in that magical upside-down world known as the "Southern Hemisphere"). (Somewhat related tangent: We should also throw the leap day at the end of the year (or the beginning) because there is no reason to randomly insert it into the middle of the year.)
The one good thing that New Year's Day has going for it is the way people respond to it. People feel a sense of hope for a brighter future in the coming year. They see it as a chance to better themselves. I love that people look forward to a better future and I love that people want to better themselves (and sometimes they actually do it), but why do we need an excuse to do this? Why do we need a special day to tell us to do this? We should have this attitude daily. There is a brighter future ahead; you should better yourself every day (I should, too). If we absolutely need a day in the year to remind us of this, we already have the perfect day: Easter. Easter is the celebration of new beginnings and a new creation (also, bunnies and hidden, brightly-colored eggs). This is the perfect representation of the things we try to attribute to that random day that starts our calendar year.
If you've also read my entry on birthdays, you may be sensing a bit of a theme. I don't like celebrations. This is true........for random, fairly meaningless events. And do you know why? We should be celebrating every day of our lives. Every day we get an opportunity at a brand new day to make our lives better than they were yesterday. When we accomplish this, we should find joy and happiness in that, not when we turn a page on a calendar.
Additional side note: New Year's celebrations also suck for single people who are fairly happy with their lives, but are taught to be miserable because they didn't kiss someone after some lighted sphere descended on a pole in New York City (I will not use the phrase "ball drop" so as to squelch any immature testicle jokes).
18 December 2011
Complaint #017: Tim Tebow
Look, I love Tim Tebow. I love him as a brother in Christ; I love him as a role model; I love him as a human being; I love him as a leader; I love him as an inspiration; I love him as a winner. Do you want to know what I don't love him as? Sure you do; you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't. I don't love him as a headline. That is to say, I don't like him as the only headline.
I'll offer you a little window into my pathetic personal life (well, I like to think it isn't that pathetic): I listen to three podcasts daily: Mike and Mike in the Morning, The Thundering Herd (Colin Cowherd), and PTI. For those who are unfamiliar, these are all sports podcasts. Yes, I realize I spend too much time listening to sports news (although I can afford it while I code eight hours per day), but my addiction to my iPod is not the subject on the table right now. Increasingly over the past few weeks, Tim Tebow has become the center of attention. It came to the point this week where I think he was mentioned every day (and I didn't keep track, but probably every podcast each day). So this means on Wednesday, while we're three days removed from his previous game and four from his next game, he still made the news. It's not even the playoffs, yet! (Additional note: I will be rooting for him every game until he plays the Steelers in the playoffs (which is likely the first round), but I'm not looking forward to having to hear about him every day) And I understand why he is talked about; it pulls in listeners, so the broadcasters have to talk about him, but I've gotten tired of Tebow.
That's the real tragedy. I've grown tired of Tebow. He's probably the greatest role model in sports of all time (that I can think of; I may be overstating it) and I've gotten tired of hearing about him. Of what I've seen, he takes no credit for his success, but gives it all to God which is what we all need to do (at least, I know I need to do this better). What makes this tragedy even more tragic is the fact that he shouldn't be an exception. Tebow shouldn't be the only strong leader in faith in the NFL. I realize that there are other followers of Christ in the NFL, but Tebow seems to be the only one that genuinely loves God more than football. This is likely the fault of incessant media coverage of him and not others (distorting my view of a true representation of athletes today), but I hope that more people like this are going to be covered more in the future (assuming these people exist, which I pray is the case).
As a final note, I do realize that by writing this blog post I'm only giving the man more coverage, but I wouldn't be human if I weren't a bit hypocritical.
I'll offer you a little window into my pathetic personal life (well, I like to think it isn't that pathetic): I listen to three podcasts daily: Mike and Mike in the Morning, The Thundering Herd (Colin Cowherd), and PTI. For those who are unfamiliar, these are all sports podcasts. Yes, I realize I spend too much time listening to sports news (although I can afford it while I code eight hours per day), but my addiction to my iPod is not the subject on the table right now. Increasingly over the past few weeks, Tim Tebow has become the center of attention. It came to the point this week where I think he was mentioned every day (and I didn't keep track, but probably every podcast each day). So this means on Wednesday, while we're three days removed from his previous game and four from his next game, he still made the news. It's not even the playoffs, yet! (Additional note: I will be rooting for him every game until he plays the Steelers in the playoffs (which is likely the first round), but I'm not looking forward to having to hear about him every day) And I understand why he is talked about; it pulls in listeners, so the broadcasters have to talk about him, but I've gotten tired of Tebow.
That's the real tragedy. I've grown tired of Tebow. He's probably the greatest role model in sports of all time (that I can think of; I may be overstating it) and I've gotten tired of hearing about him. Of what I've seen, he takes no credit for his success, but gives it all to God which is what we all need to do (at least, I know I need to do this better). What makes this tragedy even more tragic is the fact that he shouldn't be an exception. Tebow shouldn't be the only strong leader in faith in the NFL. I realize that there are other followers of Christ in the NFL, but Tebow seems to be the only one that genuinely loves God more than football. This is likely the fault of incessant media coverage of him and not others (distorting my view of a true representation of athletes today), but I hope that more people like this are going to be covered more in the future (assuming these people exist, which I pray is the case).
As a final note, I do realize that by writing this blog post I'm only giving the man more coverage, but I wouldn't be human if I weren't a bit hypocritical.
11 December 2011
Complaint #016: Hold Music
I know, I know, I know; this is an incredibly cliché subject about which to complain, but I figure I would tackle something easy after last week. And what an easy subject this is. Let me start out by saying that I don't mind having to wait on a call (for a reasonable amount of time). If your business doesn't have the manpower to maintain customer service for immediate help to all who call in, I must realize that the money saved in not hiring more personnel is probably (maybe, hopefully) used to reduce my bills. I don't necessarily think it's a great business model, but I'm not a businessman so my opinion is probably as useful as a sword in a gunfight (Indiana Jones fans will be familiar with how useless this is).
I am most offended by what I am forced hear while I am on hold. Again, I don't want to get into an argument concerning musical taste, so I'll just point out a few things that can be objectively measured. That being said, I don't think I've ever heard hold music that I actually recognized. Usually it's some obscure classical or whiny pop-folk (both genres of music of which I have song/compositions that I enjoy). This, of course, is predicated on the assumption that the music can be heard, which, more often than should be, is not the case. Again assuming that the music can be heard, the quality is never good. That is an understatement. Let me illustrate how terrible the recording quality is: I notice it. For those who need context, let me explain that despite the enormous amount of music to which I listen, I am fairly deaf to compression quality. I couldn't tell that difference between 128 kbit/s MP3 and FLAC (or 24/96 WAV for that matter).
Main point: Companies should just put me on silent hold while they transfer my call around. I would be less likely to jam pencils in my earholes while waiting.
I am most offended by what I am forced hear while I am on hold. Again, I don't want to get into an argument concerning musical taste, so I'll just point out a few things that can be objectively measured. That being said, I don't think I've ever heard hold music that I actually recognized. Usually it's some obscure classical or whiny pop-folk (both genres of music of which I have song/compositions that I enjoy). This, of course, is predicated on the assumption that the music can be heard, which, more often than should be, is not the case. Again assuming that the music can be heard, the quality is never good. That is an understatement. Let me illustrate how terrible the recording quality is: I notice it. For those who need context, let me explain that despite the enormous amount of music to which I listen, I am fairly deaf to compression quality. I couldn't tell that difference between 128 kbit/s MP3 and FLAC (or 24/96 WAV for that matter).
Main point: Companies should just put me on silent hold while they transfer my call around. I would be less likely to jam pencils in my earholes while waiting.
04 December 2011
Complaint #015: Christian Music
Well this post has been a long time coming. First off, I want to reiterate that the purpose of this blog is to improve something through the act of constructive criticism (well, that's what it's supposed to be most of the time...) I want it to be constructive (for the posts about which I actually care) because I want these area to improve; to be better than they already are. Christian music is an area that deserves a lot of criticism. I'm willing to make an enormous generalization here: Christians don't want to hear that; they think we have to support anything and everything that has a Jesus fish slapped on it. I refuse to do that. I think every Sunday School teacher had that one lesson on not lying that ended with explaining that even "little white lies" aren't to be tolerated. To show that I learned something that week (many moons ago) I am taking a stand today and starting off this post by saying that the vast, vast, vast majority of Christian music is terrible.
Let's start off in the home arena: the church building. I'll start off this topic by explaining that I realize that a church that would play the kind of music I would want it to play would not survive. You couldn't get enough people in the same area that would attend a church that plays Five Iron Frenzy and Demon Hunter. This is despite the fact that the lyrics of those two bands are about 4000× better than your average "Jesus, Jesus/Life is lollipops and unicorns/I love Jesus/Hallelujah" song (this song would, of course, have that chorus repeated about 87 times as its conclusion (and upon the fifth time I'd start jamming the corner of the bulletin in my eye so I can keep my mind off the pain of singing it again)). All I ask for is some variety. I actually genuinely enjoy when my church plays a good, old hymn such as "It Is Well with My Soul" (soooooooo good) or "Holy, Holy, Holy", and also when they play some of the classics from my youth, like "Awesome God", "He Is Exalted", or "Shine Jesus Shine". Instead, I'm stuck with Hillsong's "new" song "Generic CCM Song Title That Probably Contains the Word 'Hope' or 'Righteous'" (now I put quotes around new because we all know it sounds just like their classic "Generic CCM Song 2" (and who could forget "Generic CCM Song 3"?))
The music played in churches today is much like candy corn: it's nice to experience two or three, but as soon as you get any more the emesis starts rising in your throat (I used the medical term so it would be less offensive, you're welcome). Speaking of throats, is anyone else as bad at singing as I am? You, too, probably hate not only the fact that your voice is on display(?) in public, but also that you can't hit the notes you'd really like to (and also it's really annoying when the singer adds a little melisma (I do believe that is the term) to a note for the final chorus and then you're thrown off and then your voice tries to correct itself by matching and it never quite sounds right). This is assuming (incorrectly) that you can hear yourself which, at least in my case, is a necessary part of being on key at any point in the song.
As far as the real world music industry goes, Christian music still sucks (maybe even more than at church). Now, I truly believe musical taste/quality is something against which I cannot complain. It is almost entirely subjective, so I'll try to stick to the objective. The big problem is the fact that there is no "real world music industry" for Christian music. Most Christian music is holed into a secluded corner of the music industry as a whole. The few bands that do break out are usually scolded for selling out or, most offensively, being too secular (I'm sorry, I didn't realize we weren't supposed to be reaching the secular community. When Jesus said "Go into all the world" he was just kidding.) Because of this, the secular community assumes that all Christian music is Chris Tomlin and Hillsong (which makes me sick to my stomach).
To try to combat this, I'm going to include a few links of great songs that I find worshipful (what's sad is that I think I feel more worshipful listening to these songs than I do when I am forced to sing those that are played in a church building). Now, I realize none of you are going to listen to these, but at least I tried...
Let's start off in the home arena: the church building. I'll start off this topic by explaining that I realize that a church that would play the kind of music I would want it to play would not survive. You couldn't get enough people in the same area that would attend a church that plays Five Iron Frenzy and Demon Hunter. This is despite the fact that the lyrics of those two bands are about 4000× better than your average "Jesus, Jesus/Life is lollipops and unicorns/I love Jesus/Hallelujah" song (this song would, of course, have that chorus repeated about 87 times as its conclusion (and upon the fifth time I'd start jamming the corner of the bulletin in my eye so I can keep my mind off the pain of singing it again)). All I ask for is some variety. I actually genuinely enjoy when my church plays a good, old hymn such as "It Is Well with My Soul" (soooooooo good) or "Holy, Holy, Holy", and also when they play some of the classics from my youth, like "Awesome God", "He Is Exalted", or "Shine Jesus Shine". Instead, I'm stuck with Hillsong's "new" song "Generic CCM Song Title That Probably Contains the Word 'Hope' or 'Righteous'" (now I put quotes around new because we all know it sounds just like their classic "Generic CCM Song 2" (and who could forget "Generic CCM Song 3"?))
The music played in churches today is much like candy corn: it's nice to experience two or three, but as soon as you get any more the emesis starts rising in your throat (I used the medical term so it would be less offensive, you're welcome). Speaking of throats, is anyone else as bad at singing as I am? You, too, probably hate not only the fact that your voice is on display(?) in public, but also that you can't hit the notes you'd really like to (and also it's really annoying when the singer adds a little melisma (I do believe that is the term) to a note for the final chorus and then you're thrown off and then your voice tries to correct itself by matching and it never quite sounds right). This is assuming (incorrectly) that you can hear yourself which, at least in my case, is a necessary part of being on key at any point in the song.
As far as the real world music industry goes, Christian music still sucks (maybe even more than at church). Now, I truly believe musical taste/quality is something against which I cannot complain. It is almost entirely subjective, so I'll try to stick to the objective. The big problem is the fact that there is no "real world music industry" for Christian music. Most Christian music is holed into a secluded corner of the music industry as a whole. The few bands that do break out are usually scolded for selling out or, most offensively, being too secular (I'm sorry, I didn't realize we weren't supposed to be reaching the secular community. When Jesus said "Go into all the world" he was just kidding.) Because of this, the secular community assumes that all Christian music is Chris Tomlin and Hillsong (which makes me sick to my stomach).
To try to combat this, I'm going to include a few links of great songs that I find worshipful (what's sad is that I think I feel more worshipful listening to these songs than I do when I am forced to sing those that are played in a church building). Now, I realize none of you are going to listen to these, but at least I tried...
- Five Iron Frenzy's "Every New Day"
- Demon Hunter's "Fading Away" (Don't worry pansies, it's the acoustic version, although his voice sounds a lot better when it's in its natural habitat (example))
- Disciple's "After the World" (Again, acoustic version)
- dc Talk's "In the Light"
- Burlap to Cashmere's "Anybody Out There"
- P.O.D.'s "Alive"
- Brave Saint Saturn's "Under Bridges"
- Family Force 5's "Love Addict"
- Showbread's "A Man with a Hammer" (OK, we could never do the verses in a church, but the chorus is the entire essence of the gospel. Also, this one's legitimately free kiddos)
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